The different versions I live in a day. Earlier on, I was Tomb Raider jogging like a machine in Parkhurst. Right now, I am the greatest (in progress) writer of all time. In the evenings I am a philosopher. I try and leave being a philosopher to the end of the day, but it often does not work out that way. I get caught up in the world that is in my mind and then make up weird scenarios about how this and that and the next thing works in and around it. If I did this all day long, I would never get anything done. I would not shower, or do projects or get the To-Do’s at work done.
Since August, I have found it extremely challenging to really engage with the work I do for this management company because I do not see the value. I also do not embrace what the cause is. That will always make it extremely challenging to connect and work long hours. It makes it a struggle to commit and drive anything. This is strange, because I use to commit on the basis of what “others” explained to me. I feel a lot stronger in being able to distinguish between what I want and how that relates to those I work with. The more beautiful thing, is seeing the unity of the teams with my diminishing presence. There was never a need for me to hold myself in such high regard. I was never as needed, as I made myself believe. This is sad, but amazing at the same time. This means I get to come and go as I please, and minimal damage will arise. This means I am really the only one who acknowledges how great I am, or that my greatness was founded in those whose values I took on as my own.
The very people who have bestowed prestige on me, are the ones whose ideals I embraced. Do not get me wrong. I committed and loved the work I did, but the value these days is no longer as strong as it once was. I’m extremely idealistic in how I see people working together towards a shared goal. Possibly naive? It is however my greatest truth. Get them to see it, and those that share a set of personal values that overlap with yours will naturally work as hard and long as they can to fulfill the units goals. It makes me consider how I might hire people. I might banish the ideas of CV’s. Actually, no I must banish them. If I allow a small opportunity for normal qualification to out-shadow the person, I run the risk of ingenuity. Also, I would assume that you have the required skills to really do what you need to be doing – should it be that technical. Which it might be, hell it probably is going to only be techy’s pretty soon.
My main point here. I need to understand what a person finds important, and then if that is what the company deems as its central cause. We have a match! People say attitude is most important. What attitude though? The over-arching attitude that supports the company’s real visions and mission. I’m not going to begin down the path of real visions and missions. I would go and take a look at Simon Sinek’s numerous Youtube posts if I were you.. Good place to start if you are even considering leading a bunch of toddlers to the kitchen. Which I hear is quite tricky.
Then this morning, interestingly. I just sent a small shout out to the family and friends and guy Im hanging out with. To say – Amigos, go forth and be amazing. Own the inner ninja and expect nothing less than excellence from you and the week. Hold the flag of madness high, and embrace the looks of disgust. Maybe, also check what you are wearing that day… Sometimes I have my shirt back to front. The whole time, I think I am being fairly awesome demanding that we be innovative and unconventional, when people were just genuinely confused at why they could see the size of my polo-neck.
Back to the friends and family thing – It felt incredible to be in a position where I wanted to support and instill the same sense of quiet enthusiasm I have going into this Monday. It was a small shout out to my inner circle, it was a reminder to the people in my life, that they need to be awesome because they inherently are. There is lot of stuff going on and we are all aiming for this and that, and then we want to run along and spend cash and have babies and ra ra ra. Just business. No jokes, I do not feel I need to achieve much more today other than go for another jog later, manage my caffeine consumption and attempt to help people where they REALLY cannot help themselves. I accepted a while ago, that I am no longer as invested in this portion of my life.. but that I do need to honour the commitment. I’m not sure if Paul Walkers’s death had something to do with my adamant approach to guarding my life, mind and goals? Maybe. Maybe not.
Let me wrap this up, and make some sense of the banter that is. I was explaining the versions of me, to you. Not for any other reason than to explain that sometimes I feel bipolar. Not really, but I wonder. Then I realised EVERYBODY does this. You have to be a couple of versions of you every day. Unless you don’t mind minimising the versions and increasing the hassles (People can be real pricks). The trick is to keep those values as a compass. You can be kind as a corporate, tomb raider and ninja. You can also be an un-inspiring bore as a corporate, tomb raider and ninja. Trust me, I have seen this.
See what I did there, I was a writer for about 30 minutes! Time to be a corporate…..